Potentially hypocritical musings on McGrady's dilemma

Tracy McGrady was on a roll tonight. He had a 21-point first half and had staked the Rockets to a nice lead over the Jazz at the break. Then he got the news his fiancee was in labor.

At 10-15 heading into this game, the Rockets were less than 3 games out of a playoff spot and on the cusp of getting back in the race. The home fans had only been treated to 3 wins in 10 games thus far. And with Yao Ming out, the Rockets field a CBA team sans McGrady. Ergo, if he leaves, so, too, do the chances of winning a game against any other NBA team, and the Rockets can ill afford to throw away any potential wins.

Any guess as to what he did? Any guess as to what happened to the Rockets?

Most likely, you saw the score by now. You probably also know that McGrady left at halftime to be with his fiancee in labor, explaining said score. The question then becomes, what was the right thing to do? What should Tracy McGrady have done tonight?

Let me be the first to say that no matter what McGrady chose, he was going to let someone down. Either his family or the city of Houston and his teammates were going to get the short end of the stick.

Maybe he should have stayed. His team was winning a badly-needed game because of him, and what was another 90 minutes in the course of a labor that might take several hours? Not even Kirilenko could slow him down, and once Houston stopped this two-game losing streak, he could be with his fiancee for the rest of the night. Of course, even if he had tried to stay, it's probable McGrady would've been extremely distracted and played poorly after receiving the news. He might have been just as ineffective as his 29%-shooting teammates.

So maybe he should have gone. His woman was having his kid, for pete's sake. Those are the two most important people in his life, and no silly game matters as much as that. What if there were serious complications while he was running around with a little orange ball? Then again, unless something was wrong, what could he do for her by leaving? It's not as though he could deliver the child, or even that the child would have likely arrived before he came through for his fans and his team.

The truth is that he probably had to go once he knew she was in labor. Performing while knowing what she was going through, that your child was about to be born, is asking too much. And that's why Tracy should have told them not to tell him a g*ddamn thing.

Tracy McGrady should have told the Rockets to keep mum on whether his fiancee went into labor until after the game unless there were any signs of complications. He wouldn't have been any more distracted than he was in his phenomenal first half, when he knew she could go into labor at any moment. He could have come through for his team and would have been by her side just 90 minutes later than he was tonight. Again, if anything was even slightly unusual, you'd have to tell him and send him right to the hospital. Failing that, though, he might do the most good for the most people, and maybe even himself, if he puts a gag order on the team until the game is done.

If you strongly disagree, I understand. There are a number of defensible positions here. And remember, I greatly sympathize with the rock and hard place between which T-Mac found himself. It is my belief, however, that Tracy's job requires certain personal sacrifices for the greater good from time to time. We couldn't ask McGrady to perform once he knew of the labor, but we could ask him to focus only on the game until it was over. And as long as he knew he would be told of anything unusual, he could rest assured that no news was good news.

He is the heart, soul, and face of his team. He needed to protect himself from himself for a total of two-and-a-half hours. If the Rockets miss the playoffs by a game, he'll have only his own impatience to blame.

Of course, I can't say I would be any less impatient in the same situation. Can you?

Players as coaches: a surprising choice by AJ

As I'm in Dallas for the holidays, I've had the pleasure of listening to sports radio slightly less moronic than what I'm stuck with in Austin. Slightly. One host in particular is a Dallas institution. Unfortunately, he probably belongs in one, too.

Norm Hitzges is effectively the James Lipton of sports radio: melodramatic, obnoxiously gracious, and prone to delusions of grandeur. Still, one of the nicer things he does is host an all-day charity marathon on December 26th of each year. Every Dallas sports personality comes out for an interview while he racks up dough for some worthy cause or other. This year, Avery Johnson was one of his guests, and in typical Lipton style, Norm began taking a really long time to ask very simple questions. I was pretty bored and about to change the station when Norm finally got to something interesting. If Avery was forced to turn the coaching wallet over to player during a game, Norm asked, who would it be?

Interesting question, Normie. 'Bout frigging time.

The first choice was obvious: Darrell Armstrong. They guy's practically an assistant as it is. The second choice was more intriguing: Jerry Stackhouse. The third choice floored me: little Devin Harris.

Now, as I established in my previous post, the guy's clutch, no doubt. But he's barely been in the league for 100 games, and AJ would pick him over Terry or Nowitzki or Van Horn? Yep. Avery wouldn't budge. Devin Harris.

I'm guessing most astute NBA fans have noticed the emergence of Harris to some extent, but most folks probably don't realize he's on the cusp of becoming really special. After praising his basketball IQ, the one word Avery used to describe Harris was "fearless." Surely that has to be among the top 5 words any team would want associated with their point guard. A whole column probably ought to be devoted to selecting the other 4, but I think most would agree with the sentiment.

During last year's playoffs, many were convinced Harris was a bust. Now he's a fearless floor leader who's second in the league in clutch scoring and earning the deep trust of a PG-turned-coach. Things are looking up around the Harris household. Now if only we could get him on the radio to replace a certain hot air balloon...

It's official: Mavs are the "clutchiest"

Happy Christmahanakwanzikah, everyone! It's been a fun break, but as the NFL regular season draws to a close, it's time to take NBA ball even more seriously. And what's more serious than crunch-time in a great game? We all know the dread, stress, fear, and excitement that goes into watching a close contest involving your favorite team entering the final two minutes and/or overtime (if you're really lucky/unlucky).

If you could build a team of crunch-time scorers from scratch, who would you want? Kobe? Duncan? Garnett?

Well, how about Dirk? Or Devin Harris? Or Jason Terry?

According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, those three players lead the league in "clutch" scoring, meaning points in the last two minutes and overtime. Dirk's racked up 139 clutch points, followed by sparkplugs Harris (115) and Terry (102). Yep, the top three clutch scorers in the league all wear a Dallas uni.

Vince Carter and Tim Duncan round out the top 5, but who wants Duncan when you can have Terry? Okay, maybe that's a stretch, but it's comforting for Mavs fans to know they have 3 guys they can count on when it matters.

62 points. 29 minutes.

Okay, so I didn't go to bed after all. Maybe because that has to be one of the most dominating performances in the modern history of the NBA. Absolutely stunning.

Too bad it came from Kobe.

[EDIT: ESPN and Yahoo! disagree on the minutes played. Felt like 33 to me, but maybe that's because torture makes you more aware of each second.]

Kobe owns the Mavs

What else is there to say? I have no idea what his final point tally will be, but as I go to bed in dismay with 3:26 left in the 3rd, he's already got 50.

50.

He also got away with slamming Dirk so hard in the face it gave him a black eye. Fortunately, Josh Joward racked up a solid flagrant clothesline right to Kobe's mug a few plays later. Nice to see Howard doing some enforcing.

Interestingly, I think the Mavs have actually gotten worse at defending Kobe since Avery took over. I'll do some numerical investigation tomorrow to back up the hypothesis. For now, though, the Mavs just have to chalk this one up to "one of those nights."

Here's to hoping the Lakers don't climb to the fifth seed anytime soon.

Stating the obvious (at length)

Drum roll, please...

The 3-division format in each NBA conference stinks out loud. See? Told you it was obvious. If it isn't so obvious, you probably follow one of the teams scamming a division title and high seed it doesn't deserve or you hate all that is fair and good in the world. Most likely, it's both.

For those who don't study the topography of the league closely, as of last year, each conference has three 5-team divisions, and the winners of those divisions are guaranteed the top 3 seeds in the playoffs, regardless of record. As before, in a specific match-up of 2 teams, whoever has the better overall record will get home court advantage, but the switch from 2 divisions to 3 has dramatically increased the odds of a team getting screwed. How? Allow me to explain.

Prior to the addition of the 3rd division last season, division winners were guaranteed the top 2 seeds. If the team with the 2nd-best record in the conference played in the same division as the team with the best record, the worst seed the runner-up could get would be #3. While that meant the runner-up would have to face off against the 6th seed in the 1st round, in the 2nd round they would still match up with the same team they would have faced had they secured the 2-seed. And since home-court advantage in an individual series is decided by overall record instead of seed, that runner-up would still have home court in the 2nd round. So, sure, they play #6 instead of #7 in the first round, but, functionally, that's all they lose.

Things are different now. If the team with the 2nd-best record in the conference played in the same division as the team with the best record, that team would now be relegated to the 4th seed. This means they face off against the 5th seed in the first round instead of the 7th, and often that 5th seed is a much tougher match-up than a team that eked into the playoffs as #6 or #7. Even if they win that series, the team with the 2nd-best record in the entire conference will now have to face off in the second round against the team with the best record. Instead of waiting until the conference finals for the premier match-up in the conference, that battle will occur prematurely. And since the loser will now bow out a round earlier than they otherwise might, the season will be perceived as a bigger disappointment.

Given the marathon that is the NBA regular season, this seems an unfair burden. Unlike the NFL, each team plays each other team in the conference at least 3 times, and usually 4. And they will all play teams in the other conference twice. In other words, if you have a better record than someone else in your conference, you clearly earned a seed higher and ought to be rewarded with it.

So why would the NBA push this format? Well, the guess here is that the league assumes that if more teams are in the hunt for a "divison title," more fans will remain interested in the regular season down the stretch. Unfortunately, that logic is deeply flawed. The only change that increased interest in the MLB regular season was the promise of more postseason berths (another divison winner and a wild card team). But the NBA still allows 8 and only 8 teams to make the playoffs. We have yet to see a race in which a team that otherwise would not make the playoffs is in the hunt for a division title. If we ever do, does the team that wins a division with a record so bad they otherwise would have missed the playoffs really deserve the #3 seed? I don't think so.

Moreover, the league laments the drop-off in playoff ratings, but by potentially pushing up the ideal conference match-up to the second round, they increase the odds of a mismatched and under-watched conference final series.

The likelihood of a team being seriously effed over by the process isn't small, either. In the West alone, only once in the last 11 seasons would a team from each division actually have earned the top 3 seeds by record. So a team that would have legitimately earned the 2nd or 3rd seed in prior years is now jammed into the 4-spot and forced to face the best prematurely. It follows, then, that the large majority of NBA fans should be up in arms over the issue. Year in and year out, a team or two is likely to be unfairly disadvantaged, yet there is almost no momentum behind changing this flawed system.

As a Mavs fan forced to watch them duke it out with the Spurs for either the #1 or #4 seed this year, I'm frustrated. The Mavericks are only a game back of the Spurs. Minnesota is a full 5 games back of Dallas but would still get the 3rd seed ahead of them if we ended the regular season today. Should the Mavs remain the second-best team in the West, they will be thrown into a probable first-round matchup with the Suns (and the fresh-legged Amare Stoudamire). If they survive that, the Spurs will be waiting in round 2. Meanwhile, the T-Wolves or Clips or Lakers will likely stroll into the conference finals and a "more successful season" than Dallas. Grrrrr.

Team history can be powerfully altered by an early exit. In 2002, Dallas faced the Spurs in the conference finals. Each team won 60 games and San Antonio won the tiebreaker. The Mavs received the 3rd seed in the playoffs, defeated the 2nd-seeded Kings in a 7th game in Dallas (as they had the better record), and made their deepest push into the playoffs in almost 15 years. Had that same regular season unfolded this year (and it might), the Mavs would have been knocked out in the second round by the Spurs, and every subsequent playoff run would be filled with questions about why they've never been able to advance past the 2nd round.

Go back to two divisions, Stern. It's better for the league, the teams, and the fans.

Dallas Morning News reading texasnba.com?

Their headline article on the Mavs today: "Mavs getting physical with opponents."

Sounds suspiciously like yesterday's Mavs update on this very site. Hey, Sefko, if you're gonna rip me off to keep your job, at least email me and give me some props. I love your columns, but has the student finally become the master? Mayhaps.

Spurs: "Oooh! Ow! My pride!"

A loss at Atlanta was bad, but it turns out the Hawks are surging and probably caught the Spurs off-guard. Last night, however, San Antonio found themselves flat-out dominated in the fourth quarter by the best college point guard in the game, Chris Paul. This should raise a few more red flags (or pink ones, at least).

Paul and Speedy Claxton aren't supposed to be as mean and scary as Tony Parker, who appeared to have made the leap, and Nick Van Exel, the much-celebrated veteran signing. But any time Parker drove to the hoop or dumped it down to Duncan, Claxton and/or Paul were there, swiping and slapping at the ball. Not coincidentally, Paul's 5 steals and Claxton's 4 match nicely with Parker's 5 turnovers and Duncan's 4.

And are the Spurs concerned about Duncan's erratic play? In his last five games, he's laid 3.5 eggs. He shot 5-14 for a pedestrian 12 pts and 10 boards against the Hawks before dominating the Lakers. Duncan then shoots 5-15 vs. Garnett and the Wolves, mustering only 13 and 7. He scored 24 against the Kings but needed an uncharacteristic 24 shots to do it, and he turned it over 5 times to boot. Last night, he shot 4-12, racked up 11 and 6, and was outplayed on both ends by David West. Yeah, David West.

The Spurs have managed to go 3-2 in this stretch, but the extremely close wins against Minnesota and Sacramento could have gone either way.

Someone needs to tell Timmy that these games count, or the Spurs could actually lose back-to-back games one of these days.

Imagine that.

Tracy McGrady: "Sit, Kobe, sit"

"Good boy."

Last night, NBA TV carried the Rockets-Lakers game and was rewarded with an incredible finish by one of the game's brightest stars. But the real story of the game was the effort of the Houston supporting cast.

Playing without Yao Ming, the Rockets hung close to the Lakers before bursting ahead by nine in the third quarter. Giving T-Mac a much needed rest from the last two minutes of the third through the first three of the fourth, the lineup of Moochie Norris, Luther Head, David Wesley, Juwan Howard, and Dikembe "Who wants to sex" Mutombo somehow stretched the lead from 6 (62-56) to 12 (71-58).

The impressive effort of that group of castoffs and rejects might have been the highlight of the game, except that once McGrady picked up his fifth foul with six minutes left and Mutombo dislocated a finger, the Rockets were forced to go with Norris, Head, Wesley, Howard, and Swift. Any Rockets fan knows that the downgrade from Mutombo to Stromile Swift is roughly equivalent to the drop-off from Natalie Portman in "Garden State" to Natalie Portman in "Star Wars." Pretty steep. Still, with LA already making enough of a push to make pleasantly bored courtside stick figure Mischa Barton perk up, this motley crew only lost two points off their six point lead until McGrady came back a few minutes later.

These guys can't win a game without T-Mac, but it was nice to see the Rockets fight through a tough stretch with a couple different five-player combos featuring zero players who would start for the Mavs, Spurs, Pistons, or, heck, the Lakers.

And if you can't start for the Lakers, should you really be on an NBA payroll?

Mavs: "Let's Get Physical"

Apparently, Avery Johnson has made the Mavericks stop and appreciate the glory and the power of Olivia Newton John's music. The national media still struggles with the concept (see: Barkely, Charles), but there's evidence in them thar hills that Dallas doesn't run scared from a fistfight any more.

In the '02-'03 season, the Mavs attempted 1793 free throws while hacking the opponent for 2032 of them. In '03-'04, the Mavs eked out 1854 attempts but gave up 1960. Last year, the Mavs rose up to shoot 2314 free throws against 2123 for the opposition. And what happened last year? Avery Johnson took over, resulting in a huge spike in trips to the line after Don Nelson stepped down.

This season, Dallas is on pace for 2371 gimmes, and their 28+ attempts per game has them in the top 10 in the league. It wasn't long ago (some would say a matter of days) that the Mavericks were chastised for their lack of physical play, but you don't get to the stripe that often without attacking the rim. Hard-nosed penetrators like Devin Harris and Josh Howard team up with Dirk "China in a Bull shop" Nowitzki to strike fear into the heart of any would-be charge-drawers under the hoop. Okay, well, maybe they aren't striking fear yet, but they should be.

Beyond getting to the stripe, Dallas has proven itself by dominating points in the paint the last five games, scoring over 50 in 3 of them. No, they don't have the low-post presences of San Antonio or Houston, but they have transitioned out of the jump-shooting identity numbskulls like Bill Walton cling to for dear life.

Get out of the way, NBA. The Mavs are taking it to the rack.

Artest to Texas: Making the case

"You see this wedding ring? Can you believe someone married my crazy ass?"

ESPN Insider's Chris Sheridan ran a column in which he proposed the most likely Artest trade scenario for each NBA team and graded its "plausibility" from 1 to 5. Naturally, most of his trade ideas were lame and he listed the famously trade-happy Mavs as one of the most likely to make a move (4/5). The Rockets and Spurs were deemed unlikely to chase the erratic star (1/5).

Ron Artest is a maniac. Every interview he does shows him oscillating from exuberance to dejection, spitefulness to optimism, heart-in-the-right-place sensitivity to maddening selfishness. Who else would talk about coming off the bench behind LeBron in Cleveland in the immediately after expressing his desire to be featured on offense like Iverson? The poor guy is a nonfictional version of Tom Hanks in "Big," a childish slave to naive emotion.

But he can ball.

Like TO, there are a number of teams who might be close enough to the title with enough good guys in the locker room to gamble on Artest. You probably have only 1-2 seasons of positive contributions before something bad happens (he demands another trade, retires, robs a liquor store, whatevs), and his deal runs out after '07-'08, but if you secure the title in that period, any dramatic fallout would almost certainly be worth it. Interestingly, all 3 Texas teams could conceivably benefit from a deal. To play devil's advocate, let's make a case for all 3 and see if any stick.

San Antonio

Obviously, they already have the pieces to win it all. But the backup SG position doesn't wow anyone. Finley's been, well, Finley -- streaky on offense (and at 37% shooting for the year, more cold than not), a liability on defense -- and Brent Barry barely seems interested in playing. Given Artest's malleability and his openness to coming off the bench for the Cavs, don't you think Pop could convince him to be some kind of super sixth man? Or maybe you sit Bowen and bring in the only guy who can shut down perimeter players better than him while scoring with ease. No one on the Spurs would be rattled by his antics; this team is as stable as they come, and Pop's experience with Rodman prepared him nicely for this challenge. Parker, Ginobli, Artest, Duncan, Mohammed. Ye gads. Instead of Sheridan's Oberto/Barry package (no one would take Barry anymore), sacrifice Oberto and send Finley for better name recognition (but equally bad play) and make this happen.

Houston

They need a third scorer. They need someone to take perimeter pressure off McGrady. They need a legit 2-guard. They have nothing to lose this year. And can you imagine being the 1 or 2 seed in the West and facing off against Yao, Tracy, and Ron? You might not score 80 a game against them. Ron would get plenty of the shots he wants, and he might even buy the team some time to rest McGrady's bad back without losing every single game. He plays the defense Van Gundy loves and might respect locker-room leaders like Jon Barry. Stromile Swift didn't work out, and David Wesley appears done, but both players might seem enticing to the Pacers based on their needs (someone behind O'Neal and a great shooter off the bench to replace Reggie). Sheridan's "deal" of Barry and Moochie Norris is ludicrous, but why wouldn't you make my offer? Like I said, you've got nothing to lose this year.

Dallas

Naturally, everyone assumes Trader Cuban is aflutter over a new star landing on the block. Fortunately, however, the Mavs have begun to show signs of trying to stabilize the roster instead of swinging for every fence in the neighborhood. That said, this is an elite talent. The real reason Cubes and Donnie Nelson are probably working the phones is because Artest solves their greatest weakness: perimeter defense. To try and fix this, Dallas started Doug Christie's ghost, for god's sake; having Ron Artest to dam up the flood of penetration would be huge. The Mavs rely on Darrell Armstrong and Jason Terry to man the locker room fairly well, but Avery Johnson's bigger-than-life personality might be the key to inspiring and mentoring Artest just long enough to slip a ring on his finger. This is one place Sheridan suggested the right deals, too: either Jerry Stackhouse straight up (if healthy) or Keith Van Horn's solid play and expiring deal for Artest and Austin Croshere.

Would I be nervous if the Mavs made a deal? You bet. If they give up a young cog like Howard (a budding Artest with some sanity) or Daniels (underappreciated jack of all trades), I'd be firmly against it, too. But sacrificing a bench player for the perimeter answer we need, one who barely makes 6 mil a year and could be moved easily if it didn't work, would be worth the risk.

In the end, it says here Sacramento moves Peja for him. That deal makes the most sense for everyone involved.

Of all the Texas teams, the Rockets might gain the most from Artest but seem less likely to chase a risk than the Mavs. Avery believes he can "fix" anybody (see: Dampier, Erick) and we all know Dallas gets pwned by any guard who can keep a dribble. Unless the Mavs can find some other magic way of curing what ails them, I say you sell your soul and hope for the best.

A better night of picks

Well, 6-4 for a .600 win percentage. One could do worse, eh? Most shocking results from tonight:

1) Suns 85, Knicks 81
Three letters:
W
T
F
?

2) Philly 119, Charlotte 115
What is this, the ABA? When Kyle Korver drops 26, you know no one's playing any D.

3) Mavs over Grizz
The ascension hype for Memphis ends tonight. Just like the Spurs used a second game vs. the Mavs to straighten out the pecking order, so, too, did the Mavs remind the Grizzlies that they can't hang with Dallas yet. Dirk with another 30+, his 4th in a row; has any player ever broken out of a slump more decisively than Nowitzki? And for the record, the Grizzles are almost totally healthy. The Mavs did this without Terry (or Howard or Stack). 14 combined assists from Daniels and Harris gives the Mavs much to look forward to when they start together next year.

NBA Pick 'em: Take 2

My last foray into the world of NBA handicapping resulted in a 1-4 record, so you’re probably asking yourself why I’d be so foolish as to put myself out there once again. Well, in the one season I gambled on NFL games picked NFL games for entertainment purposes only, I came out ahead only because I picked every game on the schedule. I lost some "sure things" and caught some coin-flips, so it generally balanced out. Thus, in an attempt to test the same waters in the NBA, I will endeavor to pick the entire slate of Friday night games, but this week I’m going to concentrate on the over/under. There’s much more data available to assist my good ol’ basketball intuition, and, really, I could pick barn-dancing match-ups and it wouldn’t matter. My dear readers tune in largely to cackle over my swings and misses.

Without further delay, my picks for tonight’s NBA action:

Bobcats at Sixers: o/u 199
Gerald Wallace appears to have remembered that he’s a one-dimensional role player masquerading as a “leading scorer” for an NBA team (down to 15.2ppg), so the season totals for Charlotte make them look a lot better on offense than they’re playing right now.
under 199

Nets at Cavs: o/u 194.5
We all know the Cavs score more at home than on the road, but, surprisingly, the Nets score 4 ppg more on the road than at home, and that makes it easy to take the over.
over 194.5

Nuggets at Heat: o/u 194
Tough one. Miami rocks the house at home, but Denver drops through the floor on the road. Just 6 days ago, these 2 tangled in the Mile High City, and the Nugs eked out a 101-99 victory. The second time teams face off, scores often drop.
under 194

Mavs at Grizzlies: o/u 179
Yes, Memphis leads the league in ppg defense. Yes, Dallas has been playing tougher D lately. Yes, they are playing for the second time (see above rationalization). No way these 2 drop this low, though, not after the 204 points they tossed in last week. We all know the Mavs secretly love to run, and Memphis seems to oblige them (and only them).
over 179

Lakers at Bulls: o/u 195
Heinrich’s probably back, but he was struggling before Dirk cracked him in the mouth (7 and 9 pts in last 2 games). The Lakeshow has been scoring well, but the Bulls score 3.5 ppg less at home, and I just don’t see the Lakers scoring enough to crack 195 combined.
under 195

Celtics at Spurs: o/u 191
The Spurs are happy to coast after blowing people out.
under 191

Sonics at Jazz: o/u 187.5
Utah either scores above 90 or below 80. Everybody scores 100 against the Sonics, who give up a league-worst 104.3 ppg. Given that the Jazz dropped a hundred on the Lakers, I think they can scratch out 95 or so in a loss to Seattle.
over 187.5

Hornets at Blazers: o/u 178
It’s a mighty battle of suckitude, and the Blazers only cracked 90 once in the last five games. The Hornets haven’t done it in their last four.
under 178

Knicks at Suns: o/u 207.5
Come on. Sure, the Suns might get 110, but that means the Knicks would still need 98 to cover if they do.
under 207.5

Pistons at Warriors: o/u 190
Man. The very definition of a coin toss right here. The Warriors have been dropping 100s all over the place, but since giving up 120 to the Wiz in a loss, the Pistons have been putting the smack down. I guess I’m more of a believer in Chauncey and co. taking over this game than not.
under 190

Tune in tomorrow to see the results. And try not to snicker.

Quinn Buckner, we hardly knew ye. Let's keep it that way.

1994-1995 was a disastrous year for the Mavericks. Other than a roster of some of my favorite Mavs names ever (including Fat Lever and Popeye Jones), the only good news to come out of that 13-69 season was the #2 pick in the 1995 draft, Jason Kidd.

The Dallas coach that season (and that season only) was the mighty Quinn Buckner. According to Basketball-Reference.com, as a player at age 23, Quinn had a season statistically similar to the one George Karl had at the same age. As coaches, about the only thing they had in common were the four games in which they shared the same floor -- four games the Sonics won by a combined 83 points. Yum.

All of that is an awkward way of saying Buckner was terribly overmatched as a coach. Unfortunately, he appears overmatched as a color commentator, too. During last night's NBATV telecast of Dallas's 84-75 whupping of Indiana, they carried the Pacers broadcast, and I was reunited with Quinn for the first time in a long time.

Buckner and Faletti: Brothers in gap-tooth-dom.

Buckner committed several cardinal broadcast sins.

Sin #1) Not admitting his initial call/reaction was wrong even when replays clearly demonstrated it.

The best example of this was a putback slam by Danny Granger that was waved off as offensive basket interference. Quinn practically had a heart attack over the "missed call," but then they showed the replay four or five times. Unmistakably, the ball sat on the rim when he slammed it down. That's interference. But after every review, Quinn only got madder. At the end of the game, he actually referred to it as the "play of the game" because it "robbed the Pacers of all their momentum."

Sin #2) Making the same lame excuse for every mistake.

Turns out the Pacers were a few days removed from an 8-day west coast road trip. Listening to Buckner, though, you'd swear they just returned from taking enemy fire in Khandahar 16 hours ago. Every turnover, every missed shot, every blown defensive assignment was attributed to the "unbelievable exhaustion" and "disorientation" that comes along with such a "grueling trip." At one point, with the Pacers down 31-23, Quinn actually said, "Given what they've been through, I'm surprised it's this close!" Well, what they went through was 5 games in 8 days, 3 of which were 20-point blow-outs. They also had a (gasp!) 3-hour time difference to overcome upon their return. Given that they had 48 hours to sleep off such unendurable agony, though, I'm confused about why it was such an issue. After all, the Mavs were playing their 8th game in 12 days and had just played in Chicago the previous night. They're also down to about 7 healthy bodies. Announcers just need to stop with the fatigue excuse. They haven't even played 20 games of the schedule yet; no one should be too tired to execute. It certainly doesn't account for every oopsie committed by your team.

Sin #3) Being wrong all the time.

All the time might be an exaggeration, but he was often comically exposed. For example, in the first half, Devin Harris drove hard to the hoop and was physically assaulted by David Harrison. After Harris crashed to the floor, Buckner chuckled and asserted that would be "the last time he tries to do that [drive the lane]." Sure enough, on the next two possessions, Harris charged toward the bucket, hitting 1 of 2 tough layups and drawing another foul. Smooth analysis, Quinno.

Like every team, the Mavs have their own announcing issues. Other than Calvin "Have you met my hot daughter(s)?" Murphy, though, I've never been this annoyed. The Clippers announcers are world-class compared to Buckner.

Other observations from the win:

-The small-forward-covering-Dirk defense initiated by Jeff Van Gundy in last year's playoffs is now being trotted out by most teams against the Blonde Bomber. He's getting better at killing it. On this night, he was covered by defensive savant Ron Artest, and within 5 minutes, Dirk slapped him with 2 fouls and a couple buckets. Rick Carlisle then put rookie SF Danny Granger on him for much of the game. This might explain why Nowitzki racked up 30+ for the 3rd game in a row.

-Why is it suddenly okay to body slam an opponent who's covered up a loose ball? And why is that always called a jump ball now? Last night, Keith Van Horn jumped on a loose ball, and Jermaine O'Neal jumped on him. After letting O'Neal scratch and claw to get a finger on the ball, Jack Nies blew the whistle and put his thumbs up. That would be effing unbelievable except that it happens in every game at every level now. Poke my eyes out, please.

-Speaking of KVH, he twice shouted the "F" word during the game. I like him much more now, don't you?

Soft? Dirk will give you soft -- right in the kisser.

After struggling for his 3rd game in a row last week, Dirk was asked what he thought might be the source of the problem. "I'm soft," he joked, referencing his great nemeses, the TNT commentators, and lightening the mood at a somber press conference.

Before you think to yourself, "maybe Dirk is still soft," you might want to ask the Bulls. Three minutes into the Mavs' 102-94 win in Chicago last night, Dirk drove the lane. Kirk Hinrich stuck his enormous mug in the way and took an elbow to the noggin. They didn't call the block, but there's no way Kirk would remember that. He crumpled like tissue paper, sustaining a concussion and heading to the hospital for CAT scans [negative, natch].

That wasn't all. Later, Dirk took the ball to the hoop, and after Luol Deng did his best impression of the patented Heinrich Facial Obstacle, he was left clutching his chin and searching for a front tooth. He finished the game with gauze balled up in his mouth.

Oh, and Dirk scored both times, too, on his way to a big night. After watching him spin, drive, post up, and take a couple motherf***ers out, it's safe to say the mini-slump is over.

His second consecutive big game was much needed, though, as the Bulls weren't the only team suffering injuries. After losing Howard to an ankle injury, Christie to retirement, and not having Stackhouse at all, Dallas saw Jason Terry go down with a hammy pull early in the first half.

How about that bench, huh?

Adrian Griffin was watching NBA League Pass on his couch two weeks ago, now he's posting elite fantasy numbers: 14 pts, 12 rebs, 3 ast, 2 stl, 50% FG. Devin Harris was slinging the ball all over the court, notching 10 assists. He also scored 13 and stole the ball from Ben Gordon 4 times (5 steals total). Darrell Armstrong even got into the act, skying for a fast break block on Piatkowski. Good thing, too -- the Mavs needed this big road win to keep pace with the Grizzlies. [Wow, sure feels weird to have to say that.]

More embarrassing for the Bulls than their glass jaws were their throwback unis:

Griffin: "Damn, that's ugly."
Nocioni: "For the love of God, who dressed me tonight?!"

If I was playing against some dudes in those outfits, I'd want to punch 'em in the kisser, too.

The Rockets are cheaters! And I have the email to prove it.

We all know the Rockets tanked the season to land Hakeem (or Akeem back then), and when Dallas coach Dick Motta blew up behind the scenes to the league, they realized they had to do something to prevent losing squads from just quitting in the last 20 games or so. Enter the lottery.

Of course, the Rockets subsequently hit the lottery and scored the #1 pick to draft Yao Ming while the Mavs were the favorites to land both Shaquille O'Neal and Chris Webber but were snubbed both times.

The lesson? Whistleblowers get a karma kick in the ass while cheaters win 2 titles, steal a franchise center, and dupe some hockey GM out of a top 5 player. Someday texasnba.com contributer Ben A. will post a fun trade trail for his Rockettes.

Why do I bring all this up? Well, Ben and I had an enjoyable email exchange I thought I might share:

Ben:
Not a surprise for savvy UT fans (*coughcough*), but: http://insider.espn.go.com/espn/blog/index?name=ford_chad
The chickens have apparently come home to roost:
"He's fallen … can he get up?" Texas is a team of extremes at the moment. NBA scouts are running to get on LaMarcus Aldridge's bandwagon while moving quickly to hop off point guard Daniel Gibson's.

Marc:
Yeah, Aldridge may be the #1 pick. He'd look god as a Rocket, eh? Send Tracy to the bench for the year! Meanwhile, I like how in 2 weeks Gibson's gone from "best PG in America" to selfish and terrible. Did any of these "scouts" watch him last year? He's always been selfish and terrible.

Ben:
If the Rockets miss the playoffs and hit the lottery jackpot again:
1) Your head will explode
2) New Orleans and Atlanta will invade Houston

Marc:
True, true. Boston always whines about missing out on Duncan when they "deserved" him, but we missed out on Shaq and Mourning and Webber and Hardaway. F***ing Rockets. The only reason we even have the lottery system is because they're cheaters.

Ben:
1) Missing out on Hardaway was a blessing in disguise.
2) Louisville should love the lottery, since it got their college program to the Final Four.
3) Not only did Boston miss the pick, but they couldn't get anyone to bite on their trade of THREE FIRST ROUNDERS for it afterwards. Sucks to miss in such an absurdly lopsided draft.
4) Connecting the dots again, we traded a broken-down Otis Thorpe to Vancouver for Francis. So if we miss the lottery, clearly we need NOK to draft Aldridge, and him to refuse to play for them, leading to our trade of Howard to NOK for LaMarcus. Pencil it in.

Marc:
1) Not for like 8 years it wouldn't have been.
2) I wonder if former Pitino protégé Tubby Smith has to pull a Stuart Smalley in the mirror before every UK-Louisville game now.
2.5) I wonder if that's followed by gritting teeth and sobs to the effect of "how could he do this to me?!"
3) I repeat: SHAQ. MOURNING. We got MASHBURN. You want lopsided? You can't HANDLE lopsided.
4) Dirk sucks.

It just had to be said.

Ben:
Didn't Penny go in the tank after 3 seasons or so? When did he start his Danny Manning routine? Also, Shaq and Mourning, you got Mash. Timmy D, they got Ron Mercer. If you had to draft one injury-prone Kentucky player, would it be Ron? Admittedly, they also got Billups in that draft, but you had Kidd! And Billups sucked at Boston!

To sum up, Dirk gets blocked by Bruce Bowen.

Marc:
3 seasons? He and Shaq were epic together for 4 seasons, and remember after Shaq left when Hardaway single-handedly whupped the Heat for an entire series? He scored 40 points in every win, I think. So let's say 5 years. Which is about what Mash gave us -- we actually got Mash in that draft, Jimmy Jackson in the Shaq draft.

To sum up, Keith Van Horn should not pass.

Ben:
So epic that they got swept by the 6 seed from the west [editor's note: does anyone really think the Rockets cared about their seed that year? Barkely was sipping Mai Thais on the bench while Drexler tried to learn how to read. "6 seed" says nothing about that team except that they cheated regular-season attendees out of a lot of wins with their lazy asses]. It was less a testament to Hardaway's greatness than the epic lameness of the mid-90's eastern conference. Basically, I'm saying that even though we traded for Rafer Alston, at least we didn't sign Doug Christie.

Marc:
No, true. At least you didn't sign Doug Christie for 3 mil and already waive him. It's much better to have David "remember when I used to get some lift on the ball?" Wesley on the payroll for eternity. How's that Collier pick working out for you, by the way?

Ben:
As well as our Samaki Walker pick. Or your Samaki Walker pick. Whichever.
At least we drafted the second best player on the T'wolves. After KG gets traded, what will YOU have done for the poor people of Minnesota, you heartless Grinch?

Marc:
Man, I thought you would read me the riot act for slamming a dead guy. But I guess you're the one who spits on Jimmy V.'s corpse every chance he gets, so maybe I shouldn't be surprised.
All the Mavs did for the Wolves was humiliate them in a 3-0 playoff sweep. But I believe that encouraged them to go out and get Sprewell, so that's something.

Ben:
If you think I'm bad (although I'm maybe worse for going to look), do a search on Collier among NBA players on ESPN. So much for honoring the dead. I guess they couldn't cough up those few hundred bytes of database space for the rest of the season. Also, while Jimmy V is dead, so is my grandfather, who was the biggest Cougar fan in the universe, and Jimmy V kicked him right in the Phi Slama Jamas, if you know what I mean.

Hey, don't you love the possibility of a KG to NYK trade? Wouldn't it be awesome to see Marbury at the first post-trade press conference? Although KG forcing a trade shouldn't make Zeke look good... Check all that. What would be awesome is Thomas biting on a blockbuster trade of Mark Madsen, Rashad McCants, and WallyWorld for Starbury. Humiliation all around! I get the giggles just thinking about it. Even though Isaiah would never trade for two white guys.

---

...and it's always appropriate to end on a ripping of Isiah. See why I want these guys to post more?

Parker v. Mavs PGs: No contest

Apparently I'm ahead of the curve and don't even know it.

On the day in which I do a little league point guard review, the biggest game of the week between the best 2 teams in the west comes down to a battle of the points. Duncan went 4-12 while Dirk shot 3-13. Manu Ginobli and Josh Howard sat. With their 1st and 2nd options negated, Mavs-Spurs became a contest betweek Parker and Terry/Harris.

Then again, that isn't really a contest at all, is it?

Tony Parker is on a mission this year. That mission should be to buy Eva Longoria a new hat (she looked like Toad from Super Mario Bros. last night), but it appears he's settled on raking the league every night. He assist numbers are down, but if my primary ballhandler was shooting 55% from the floor for 21 a night, I'd probably be okay with him looking for his own shot. At 23 years of age, Parker appears to have made the leap.

[Of course, it helps when Keith Van Horn runs screaming from the lane while you're charging to the hoop down 1 with 30 seconds left. This after Keith made a beautiful no-look pass to Avery Johnson with 43 seconds left.]

Parker's huge fourth quarter demonstrated the value of a guy who can consistently create his own shot. Several Mavericks are capable of the creation but not the consistency. Daniels, Terry, and Harris have the goods but come and go too easily in the flow of a game. Obviously, Terry whupped the Rockets by himself last year and just recently punked Toronto with a floater at the buzzer, but he's a touch behind Parker offensively and a complete farce compared to him on the defensive end. According to 82games.com, the Mavs give up a PER of 21 to opposing PGs; San Antonio gives up a 15.6.

Desite this mismatch, the Mavs kept it close. But weirdly enough, Kenny Smith is right: until they can body up on the perimeter, Dallas will have trouble contending with a team as good as the Spurs in May.

A good passer is hard to find

Watching Jason Terry vs TJ Ford the other night, I was struck by their different styles. While Terry was hitting every shot he flung up (except that last one, sadly), I found myself pining for a great set-up man like TJ. Perhaps Dirk would implode less if he had a teammate who could get him an easy look when he's struggling.

For kicks, I ran down the list of starting points in the league, and I was a little surprised by the results. I found only 3 starters I consider "pure passers:"
1) Jason Kidd, Nets
2) TJ Ford, Bucks
3) Brevin Knight, Bobcats

There are a number of scoring-minded PGs that also pass well. Some of these guys (like Nash) are great assist men, but most tend to shoot more often than not:
1) Steve Nash, Suns
2) Chauncey Billups, Pistons
3) Tony Parker, Spurs
4) Allen Iverson, Sixers
5) Gilbert Arenas, Wizards
6) Baron Davis, Warriors
7) Sam Cassell, Clippers
8) Chris Paul, Hornets
9) Stephon Marbury, Knicks
9) Mike Bibby, Kings
10) Deron Williams, Jazz
11) Sebastian Telfair, Blazers (tough to know what to do with him just yet)

Most of these gunners also make you feel pretty good about your passing situation (well, not Marbury, but that goes without saying) ; if you need a guy to work the D and create for his 'mates, any of these guards can get the job done when it counts.

Next we get into the starters with embarrasingly low assist numbers against minutes played. For example, can you imagine playing with Dwyane Wade for 34 mpg and averaging less than 5 assists? Jason Williams can, apparently, and he even used to be known as a passer in olden times. Most of these guys are SGs in a PG's body:
1) Jason Terry, Mavericks
2) Mike James, Raptors
3) Steve Francis, Magic
4) Jason Williams, Heat
5) Smush Parker, Lakers

There are also a few defensive specialists who pass just well enough to justify big minutes. They may not be slinging the rock around much, but they make it harder for the opponent to do so. The only two guys I see playing the point primarily as stoppers are:
1) Delonte West, Celtics
2) Jamaal Tinsley, Pacers

...and now we get to the caretakers. In the case of Chris Duhon and Andre Miller, I mean that in the best possible way. Neither does anything spectacular, but both do a bit of everything and hold down the fort well. The rest of these chumps are holding down the fort, but not so well:
1) Chris Duhon, Bulls
2) Andre Miller, Nuggets
3) Luke Ridnour, Sonics
4) Rafer Alston, Rockets
5) Marko Jaric, T-Wolves
6) Damon Stoudamire, Grizzlies
7) Eric Snow, Cavs
8) Tyronn Lue, Hawks

Kinda frightening how many PGs suck like a Hoover, eh?

The good news for the Mavs: Devin Harris has a very real chance of joining the "gunners who can pass" echelon, and I suspect Daniels, Dirk, and Howard will greatly appreciate it. Jason Terry is an excellent scorer, just not the ideal point guard for a team with championship aspirations. Then again, it looks like Dallas could do a lot worse.