2 Legit (except for that uni-brow chump)

The Mavs can whine all they want about being tired; the Bucks didn’t have any trouble bouncing back to win the second of their back-to-back road games after an OT win. Milwaukee appeared to be the fresher team in the second half; they scrapped harder for every loose ball and board. Speaking the glass, Bogut’s 17 rebounds were nice, but let’s chalk a few of those up to the fraudulence of that NJ front line, eh? As Stephen Colbert would say, “I called it.” Oh, and TJ Ford, the guy who couldn’t hit an 18 footer in college? He’s swishing momentum-altering NBA 3s now. As Stuart Scott would say, “Holla!” Can you guess which of those quotes makes me want to jam a fork in my ear?

Best plays I saw last night:

-Stephon Marbury was posting up poor little Delonte West, backing him down with ease. As Marbury spun right to lay it up, West stuck out his left hand and smacked the ball off Marbury’s enormous dome.

-Bo Outlaw flung a 20 foot alley-oop pass to Dwight Howard, who caught it and threw it down so hard I thought the rim had accused him of sucking as bad as Bo Outlaw.

-Any Cleveland fast break. Hughes and James were one-upping each other on sweet passes and wicked finishes. David Stern was also in attendance. They brought him down to sit in with the TV guys, and during the interview, they asked him what he thought of LeBron. With James sitting right underneath them and about to check in, Stern deadpans “He’s funny-looking.” Priceless.

-Tracy McGrady introduced Francisco Garcia to the NBA by torching him on the baseline for an easy bucket, then came down hobbling (he’s still suffering from knee tendonitis). Hey kid, you got posterized by a one-legged superstar in your first minute of playing time. Welcome to The League.

Worst play I saw last night:

-Mehmet Okur’s ridiculous, over-the-shoulder three-point heave that banked in as the shot clock expired. No one on that ugly-ass team even knew the shot clock was about to go off, and Okur only realized it because he saw the clock at the other end of the court. He flings it up and banks it in to seal the Mavs’ fate. For those of you unfamiliar with Mehmet Okur, feel free to take a look:

And that’s him all cleaned up in the real world, not sweating buckets and making the constipated “I can’t believe how many times I’m getting dunked on” face all game.

Getting beat sucks. Getting beat by the soft, slow, jump-shooting little brother of differently-abled “LA Law” intern Benny Stulwicz sucks worse.